Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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