Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
