I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize