Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
