Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
