guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize