is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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