i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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