The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
