does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
