Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
