so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
