I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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