my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
