so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think my vagina is haunted
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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