oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
