You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
