when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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