its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
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