I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
