if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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