My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
