kristin has been a bad kristin
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
