I think scott just propositioned me for sex
literally had 100 drinks last night.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
