he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
