I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Say something about gay babies.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
