its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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