this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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