Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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