What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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