At least make sure they are 18
Why
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
