Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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