I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
