I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
