Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
