You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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