return my video game
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
