I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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