normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
