All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Boobs are out for the taking
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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