was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize