Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize