I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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