grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
