I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize