I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
