doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
