how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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