I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize