Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
