She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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