remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Come see our sink grown plant.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
